what is the greatest lesson a woman should learn

that since day one

she's already had everything she needs within herself

it's the world that convinced her she did not

- Rupi Kaur

It's a lesson that unfortunately not every woman learns in her lifetime. It's a lesson that some women think they've learned only to succumb to every single societal demand thrust upon them every day. It's a lesson some women deny for fear of being marginalised. It's a lesson learned for a number of women, but instead of feeling a sense of pride, must hide in silence in fear of a backlash of rudeness, snickers and disdain. As if to be a women means to stay ignorant. Or silent. Or a martyr. Or, worst of all, stagnant. 

Over the past two decades or so, I've received a number of "kind" inquiries and comments. "Why are you still single?" "Perhaps you should be less witty and hold your tongue more." "Grow your hair, guys like that better." "You're too picky." "You gained weight, didn't you?" "Aren't you stressed you don't have babies yet?" "Dating these days must be so hard. Poor you." "Although we believe you have the abilities required in this job, we'll go with him (with less experience and questionable social skills)." "What do you know? You're just a kid (girl)." 

And over the past two decades or so, I have smiled, said nothing, lashed out, refuted, argued, ignored, sniggered, rolled my eyes, cried. I'm so close to not flinching anymore and just drop a response only people with any sense of open-mindedness can understand. It's okay to continue growing. To improve oneself. It's okay to want the conventional things in life like marriage. It's okay to choose to put one's career for the family so long as it's a mutual decision. It's okay to have a fitness goal or body goal in mind. It's all okay. But know that checking off something off your list should not equate to one's level of self-worth. Everything else (e.g. marriage/children, the perfect brows, booty gains, etc.) should be like bonus. You have the right to mourn what was lost or never attained, but that shouldn't change the fact that you are just as worthy of the space you take on Earth like anybody else. 

Pardon me, I got rather philosophical again. Since I blogged a wee bit ago, I quite forgot how to segue gracefully to the recipe. Oh well, I'll try to take on a lighter note next time. Promise. 

After a rather heated argument over my "dreary future" as a single woman (I still love you, dear relative, but I'd probably never be free to spend time), I need something sweet. So sweet that my brain would only be consumed by what my taste buds are absorbing. Instagram feed to the rescue. I quickly checked out this recipe by Avant-Garde Vegan and decided to bake it right there and then. I may or may not have eaten two or three squares before my dinner that faithful Saturday evening. FYI, the recipe below shows all modifications I made.


Vegan Toffee Apple Brownies
Makes 12-16 slices

Ingredients:

• 2 apples, cored and diced in small cubes
• 5 tbsp of coconut sugar (or brown sugar)

• 5 tbsp vegan butter
• 1.5 cups dark chocolate, chopped
• 1 cup self-raising flour
• 1/2 cup spelt flour
• 3/4 cup coconut sugar
• 3 tbsp cocoa powder
• Pinch sea salt
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 cup oat mylk (or mylk of choice)

• Handful of pumpkin seeds or nuts of choice
• Dark chocolate chips
• Crushed gingerbread cookies

In a frying pan, heat a tbsp of vegan butter. Then add the chopped apples and coconut sugar. Cook until the sugar has caramelised and the apples are softened. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350F. Line a square pan with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, sift together flours, coconut sugar, cocoa powder, salt and cinnamon.

Using a bain-marie, melt together 5 tbsp of vegan butter and dark chocolate. Mix until smooth. Remove from heat. Add oat mylk and stir until smooth.

Gradually add the liquid mixture with the dry ingredients. Careful not to over-mix.

Incorporate half of the toffee apple into the batter and some chocolate chips. Mix.

Transfer the batter into the prepared pan. Top with pumpkin seeds or other nuts, more dark chocolate chips and crushed gingerbread cookies.

Bake for 25-30 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack completely before slicing.

Enjoy! xx