heartyspoonful: February 2017

Vegan Chocolate Fudge

"Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them."

- Augusten Burroughs

I don't know about you, but sometimes I find some of my most meaningful conversations with other women happen in the loo. A common place of bitching about guys or laughing at crazy girls' night antics or fighting back tears of frustration. This afternoon, a few of my co-workers and I were discussing self-image, especially the effect of peer pressure on how we perceive ourselves. Now surprisingly, the three of us had different experiences growing up: one was very self-aware all because of the cruel teasing she endured from an early age, another one was pretty oblivious about her looks even as a teen and I was all over the place. What we all learned, however, is that now, with age and acquired wisdom, our self-worth is so much more important than the opinion of others.

Growing up, I was teased heavily about my skin colour and full lips, resulting in unwarranted teasing of "Orangutan". How awful are kids? I never really cried when kids teased me mercilessly. I always had some response, but obviously my wit and sarcasm went unnoticed and unappreciated. Then the day came when I got "praise" for my tanned skin and lips. It was all confusing. Then there was the bullying about my whole appearance, which as you might know now from my previous posts, really did take a rather bad toll on my self-esteem and physical and mental health.

The words of my dad will forever me tattooed in my mind:

"Why base your peace of mind on other people's opinions? Especially of people you don't even care for."
"Being skinny and mentally weak, that's not healthy nor attractive. Don't you want to look and actually be strong?"
"If you mask your imperfections, how can you know you're real?"
"Hey, I have sparse eyebrows, but I'm pretty tall. You can't have it all."
"Always have the piece of cake. You'll eventually run it off anyway."

I appreciated both of my parents for their openness when it came my self-image. They were so honest, but not brutally so. I remember hating on my brother because he got all the height whilst I remained ever so short. Both of my parents explained nothing can be done, it's genetics. You accept it and move on. Or as my mother quipped, "This is why high heels exist." You can't fight nature; you just have to learn to work with it. There are still days I let my imperfections get the best of me, but then I think of the people who still love me nevertheless and I feel comforted. But yes, I admit I need to work on the following:

My impatience, especially for tardiness;
My seeming uptightness (gotta find my laid-back self);
Indecisiveness (I just take forever and I yo-yo with decisions);
Introversion (I prefer my solitude over "fun" loud settings).

Bottom line: Be unapologetic for simply being you. Unless you're racist/sexist/acting with criminal intent/narrow-minded/and other -isms out there. Work on that. Always keep working on that, people. Be kind.

So, if you want to be happier, have chocolate! Especially when you know what you put in. I've made about three batches of this chocolate already and I must say, there are no regrets. I eat chocolate every day. And if that makes me imperfect, then so be it.

Pistachio + Raspberries = Love

Vegan Chocolate Fudge
Makes 9x5 loaf pan
(Recipe adapted from Voila Vegan - my changes are reflected below)

Ingredients:

1/3 cup tahini
1/3 cup cashew butter or almond butter
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup melted coconut oil
1/4 cup almond milk
2/3 cup cocoa powder

Add-ins:

Pistachios, roughly chopped
Raspberries
Almonds, roughly chopped
Blueberries
Sea salt

Line a loaf pan with plastic wrap. Set aside.

In a glass bowl, mix together all ingredients except for add in. Make sure all ingredients are at room temperature.

Fold in your add-ins of choice. I made a variation with pistachios and raspberries, and another one with almonds. Use your creativity! If using raspberries or any other berries, make sure not to mix too much to avoid mushing the berries.

Pour mixture into prepared pan. Place in freezer for at least an hour and then transfer to the fridge.

When ready to serve, use a sharp knife to cut into small squares.