heartyspoonful

 FAVE!

Since moving to my new home, I haven't been reading as much as usual. I still read, of course, but I suppose without the almost feverish need to do it every time I have some free time. In any case, I can tell you that I still feel a panic attack coming when I realise I didn't bring a book with me when I step out of the house. Books are my safety net. 

This summer, I browsed the best seller shelves in bookstores to inspire me. Not very creative at all. There are still books left unread that are forever parked in my wishlist. I must remember to click on "add to cart" one of these days. Let me tell you anyway of what I've enjoyed (and not so much) reading these past few months.

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur 

I love poetry, but I always find myself reading the works of Baudelaire and Rimbaud and Gautier (in French, too). I must say though that due to my past obsession with tumblr, I stumbled upon the modern day take on poetry and prose. I even started to write poetry without much consideration for structure. It's about self-expression, right? 

This is why I fell in love with Rupi Kaur's work. I remember stumbling upon a very short work of hers on tumblr (see below) and though there were only four lines, I found myself nodding because I just understood. Rupi's work also reminds me of Warsan Shire's work and that's not a bad thing at all. 

Milk and Honey was an impulse buy and boy, I don't regret it one bit. I couldn't identify with all of her prose (sexual assault, her complicated relationship with her father, being an Indian woman), but there's a progression in this book. Growth. Being a woman. Romantic relationships--their exciting beginnings, the delicious yet somehow lacking middle and ultimately the bitter end. Finding oneself after a heartbreak. Being an immigrant. It's a hodgepodge of subjects and for sure you'll find yourself identifying to at least one of her works. 

Rupi's raw honesty that cuts and her no nonsense approach to her writing are two strong points of this book. There's something about the simplicity of her poetry that is both soothing and urgent. It's not like the works of (my beloved) Edna St. Vincent Millay, but let's not be poetry snobs about it. I still recommend Milk and Honey, a light read to tug at your heartstrings. 

From tumblr: 

"the way they

leave

tells you

everything"

Personal favourite:

"and here you are living

despite it all"

You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein

A collection of personal essays peppered with witty remarks, hilarious yet awkward blast from the past tales and accidental inspirational banter? Sign me up! I've been reading a lot of non-fiction lately, mostly essays written by women, a lot of whom I didn't even know before reading their works. They've all been such nice surprises. 

I picked up this book because of it's title and the photo of Jessi as a somewhat boyish-looking girl in pink. I can relate. I remember that day I was browsing the bookstore, I kept on telling myself to buy Eckhart Tolle's books for inspiration because, hello, I'm in my 20s and there's always a funk somewhere that I need to air out forever. But then, I saw You'll Grow Out of It and my body just automatically reached for it and there was no turning back. As I've mentioned above, I really like the title... but I'm still uncertain as to what I need to grow out of (I'm in denial, obviously). I wanted to find out Jessi's version. 

No need to tell you about the different essays on this book, that's for you to find out (with joy). But let's just say that this book, like many others of this kind before it, is about a woman's journey, told in a comedic yet self-patronising yet smart tone. Jessi's a woman who has seen it all (almost all?). You'll realise she's a late bloomer as well, and trust me, I could relate to that. I'm not Jewish, but I enjoyed her Jewish interpretations to certain life events. 

There was something about her writing style that made me think that hey, I can relate! We don't share the same experiences, but reading about her thoughts about particular situations made me recall my own thought process. Hey, apparently, I'm not alone in thinking that Victoria's Secret is, well, not that great (think about it, the chances of you wearing the same lingerie as your boyfriend's ex...). Although, unlike Jessi, I left packed underwear when I was a child. But, like Jessi, I need dessert to comfort me when all hell breaks loose. Oy. 

Do I think you'll enjoy this book? Absolutely. Unless of course you just want the hard-hitting non-fiction books about war and the world economy and the minds of great thinkers. But hey, sometimes you just need a break and a refreshing read. 

Favourite quote:

"This was when I learned one of the biggest secrets of being a woman, which is that much of the time, we don't feel like we're women at all." 

So Sad Today by Melissa Broder

Ok, I bought this book because of the title. Specifically, because I was feeling really sad that day. I had a random, out of the blue panic attack. Usually, I can "sense" when a panic attack is looming. There's that dread of it. The sudden mood swing. And then the inevitable. That day, however, everything was fine until it wasn't. Until I felt like there was a dementor sucking all my happiness away. Until I found myself hiding in a quiet corner of the office, grasping desperately for air. It lasted less than a minute, but it somehow felt longer, much longer.

I didn't know a thing about this book at all when I purchased it. I guess, selfishly, it intrigued because it seemed someone else had it worse than me. (We're funny, us humans, in that way.) Have you heard of that quote that goes along the lines of comedians are really the loneliest people? That's what So Sad Today made me feel about its author. Melissa isn't a comedian by trade like Jessi Klein, but there was still some comedic interpretation in her writing. Ha! You see, another sad individual using comedy to lighten the pain of being alive.

Not everything Melissa went through is relatable. Or maybe not to me (yep, not living such on the edge). There's drugs and medication and extra marital affairs and just lots of irresponsible decisions. But there's also her sweet yet heartbreaking marriage. That touched my heart quite a bit. There was something so vulnerable yet so real in Melissa's writing. She fearlessly writes about what a lot of people would hide in their closets. Hello, are you open to discuss your fetish openly?

This book is sad, but sweet in its own way. It's also disturbing and infuriating, but at the same time, so ironic and witty. You'll either love it or hate it (like anything in life). Even though I don't understand her obsession with Twitter, it's still well worth the read.

Favourite quote:
 "I am a superficial woman of depth."


Honourable Mentions:

This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

Again, should it even come to you as a surprise that I picked up this book because I liked the title? We see the pattern here, right? I don't know what I feel about this book personally. Maybe because I'm not a guy and don't go through the same experience? Maybe it's a cultural thing and I don't know much about Dominicans? Maybe because I don't get the overall experience of the protagonist? There was just something about the story (stories?) that I couldn't really understand. On a personal level, I wasn't able to relate and connect with the characters. The loving and the cheating and the running after people. We all deal with these things (avoid the cheating bit, please), but to be quite honest, I found it a little over the top.

It's a big puzzle, these short stories. Personally, I don't think the characters were developed enough. Especially when Yunior was much older and had gone through all those relationships. Grow up! Again, the majority of readers loved this book. I'm not one of the masses. But that's just me.

Eat, Pray, Love Made Me Do It: Life Journeys Inspired by the Best Selling Memoir

There are still about 100 pages left unread. It's a hard read for me, only because I suppose after reading Eat, Pray, Love I'm expecting some big, drastic life changes. That's not always the case. Though each story is inspiring in its own way, the question remains: "Will you be inspired by it?" There were times that I feel like the authors were trying to sound profound... Having gone through a difficult time dealing with my dad's cancer and death, I found myself rolling my eyes at some of the stories. I get it, we're only human, our threshold for pain varies. BUT the collection of essays in this book weren't all on the same page. What I mean is, there are stories that really move you because the author sounds very genuine. Other stories drag on and on and I wonder how Eat, Pray, Love actually brought about the change in this person's life. Maybe this book is exactly what you need. I'm not there yet.


Happy reading! xx

"Coffee is a language in itself."

- Jackie Chan 

My parents weren't big coffee drinkers, but growing up, I always thought it was so "adult" of them to have a cup of coffee in the morning with their breakfast. My dad preferred his coffee black, although in the afternoon, he'd have a cup with some cream and sugar. My mum was all about her cup in the morning with sugar and milk. That's it. I had to wait for the next morning to breathe in that wonderful coffee aroma. 

I had my first cup of coffee a couple of months after turning 18. Don't ask why I took that long to try coffee. I guess I never really thought I needed it. Until one morning, no amount of tea and lemon water was enough to wake up my senses. My sleeping problems got worse and after lunchtime, I found myself yearning for my warm bed. It was time to try some caffeine and see how my body would react. I'll be honest with you: Coffee barely has any effect on me. I can still dose off after my morning cup of coffee. I reach for extra cups during a long work day only because of how it makes me feel. I feel comforted, like a warm hug in a cup. 

I've never baked using coffee before. I've made desserts that pair very well with coffee, but this particular gift from the heavens has never been an ingredient. It was time to change that. What better way than to include my current favourite Dandies marshmallows as well. I was browsing the Dandies website for recipe inspiration and guess what was featured? Espresso brownies. Disclaimer: I did change up this recipe a little bit because it's a little too indulgent for my taste. I mean, 1 1/2 cups of sugar? You don't need that much sugar in whatever you're baking. Unless you're baking a 5-tiered cake of something. The recipe below includes my modifications, just FYI. 

 What diet?

Espresso Brownies with Dandies Marshmallows

Makes 9-12 squares

Ingredients:

• 1 cup almond milk 
• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup coconut oil, melted (make sure all ingredients are at room temperature)
• 2 tbsp unsweetened applesauce
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/2 cup cocoa powder
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 3/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• Crumbs of graham crackers, as topping 
• 6 Dandies marshmallows, cut in half

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a muffin pan with coconut oil/vegan butter.

In a large bowl, make vegan "buttermilk" by whisking together apple cider vinegar and almond milk. Let stand for a few minutes until the mixture curdles. 

Add sugar, oil, applesauce and vanilla to the buttermilk. 

Sift in the flour, cocoa powder, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Mix to combine until well incorporated. 

Pour the batter into the muffin pan, about 3/4 full. Top with graham cracker crumbs. 

Bake for 18-20 minutes. Halfway through, top with marshmallows. 

When baked, let cool completely. Don't remove from tin until completely cool. Let stand for at least 30 minutes. 

Enjoy! xx