"If life gives you lemons, don't settle for simply making lemonade--make a glorious scene at a lemonade stand."

-Elizabeth Gilbert

Life all hands us lemons, or targets us with lemon canon balls, almost always. I'd like to think that even after the lemon bruises and the sticky mess, I've come out of it only stronger, a bit bitter, but sweeter as well. Some sourness, of course, but we all want some sugar, too.

Baking has been my refuge these past two years, dealing with my dad's cancer. It's my anti-stress activity. Even my manicurist told me I have such stiff fingers and that I need to just relax. R-E-L-A-X. Now wouldn't that be nice? See, I don't know how to do that exactly. Is it just lounging about in your pyjamas and watching a show on Netflix? Is it taking a long hot bath and listening to music? Is it walking outside and enjoying the scenery? What is it exactly? I can't keep still so even with all the reading that I do, I don't relax. Not really. I walk about when I read. Or I stop for 5 minutes and contemplate on my life and decisions. Then I put the book down and bake. When I bake, my mind clears. The sun is up and there are no dark clouds. There's a breeze, but nothing threatening. The birds chirp and the flowers wave their hello. I'm in a constant state of relaxation. Kinda like the shavasana pose in yoga, I suppose. Except, wouldn't it be rather odd I drop to floor whenever I want to relax?

Last Saturday was a big baking day. There was a tantamount of anxiety building up in my mind. I needed all the strength I could get to relax. And so I exerted some effort into baking. You see, the reason I bake a lot when I need to clear my head is because baking needs so much of one's concentration. You need the right measurement of your ingredients. You need the right baking temperature. Your baking pan has to be the right size. You need to time what you're baking. This is why you can only really think of baking when you bake. This is why it relaxes me.

Sure, there are baking disasters no matter how "controlled" your baking environment is. Life does happen. But all in all, given all the right baking decisions, you can come out a winner. I once was so distracted when I was baking that I had forgotten to add sugar to my zucchini cake It didn't taste like anything. I couldn't even pass it off as a savoury bread. I slabbed as much peanut butter as a slice can hold, but to no avail. After that experience, I used baking as a way for me to clear the dark clouds and let sunshine in again. I bake, and I bake, and I bake.

On that particular weekend, I baked vegan avocado brownies, baked oatmeal for my breakfast, carrot cake cookies and a lemon cake with blueberry filling. I was exhausted after it all, but I was able to relax enough to be more efficient later on in the day. It's definitely much better than just sitting around and moping. I mean, there were lots of dessert waiting for me. That's the cherry on top.

Vegan Lemon Cake with Blueberry Filling
Serves 8-12 

Ingredients:

• 1.5 cups whole wheat flour
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 tbsp baking soda, sifted
• 1/3 cup plus 1 tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar 
• 1 large Meyer lemon 
• 3/4 cup almond milk

Preheat oven to 350F. Prepare a round cake pan by greasing it with some coconut oil.

Grate the rind of the lemon. Then juice the lemon and mix with the almond milk. Add the grated rind.

In a medium bowl, mix flour, sugar and baking soda. Add the lemon-almond milk mixture. Mix gently. Then, add the oil and apple cidre vinegar. Be careful not to overmix.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan. Bake for 25 minutes.

Let cool once bake to prepare for the blueberry filling.

Blueberry Filling:
Boil 2 cups of frozen blueberries with 1/4 cup of water and 2 tbsp of coconut sugar. Once the berries are mushy, take away from heat and blend the berries. (In my case, I left the berries as it so there's more texture to the filling.)

Add 2-3 tsp of cornstarch and mix well. When the mixture is thicker, you can remove from heat. Refrigerate the mixture if you want to quicken the thickening process.

Slice your cake in half when cool. Spread the blueberry filling on the bottom layer and place the top layer. You can dust some powdered sugar if you please.

Enjoy! xx