heartyspoonful

"She must escape somehow, be alone somewhere."

- Virginia Woolf

• 1 cup flour (I used whole wheat and spelt; all-purpose will work, too)
• 1/3 cup coconut sugar
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• Chocolate chips (as much or little as you want)
• Pistachios (or pecans)

• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1/4 cup peanut butter or almond butter (I've used both)
• 1/4  cup almond mylk
• 2 flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flax mixed with 6 tbsp water)
• 1 tsp vanilla

"What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age."

- Sylvia Plath

• 1/3 cup tahini/smooth almond butter
• 1/4 cup softened coconut oil
• 1/2 cup + 1 tbsp coconut sugar
• 2 flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flax + 6 tbsp warm water)
• 1/3 cup coconut flour (plus a few tbsp, depending on consistency)
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• Pinch of salt

• Dark chocolate
• Dried cranberries
• Vegan white chocolate
• Crushed Oreo cookies

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."

- Lou Holtz

• 1 19 oz can chickpeas, drained and washed
• 1/3 + 1 tbsp maple syrup
• 1/4 cup tahini
• 1/4 cup cashew butter
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Pinch of salt
• 1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

"You are what you think about all day."

- Dr. Robert Schuller

Watch me butcher the steps below... because to me it's pretty obvious now how to proceed.

You won't stop at one bite. I swear.

Brookies
Makes 12 slices

Ingredients:

Brownie layer:

• 1 avocado, mashed
• 1/4 cup neutral oil of choice
• 1 cup spelt/whole wheat flour
• 1/2 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup-3/4 cup coconut sugar
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp pink salt
• 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of water or almond milk
• Handful of chocolate chips

Cookie layer:

• 1 cup gluten-free flour blend
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp pink salt
• 1/2 cup vegan butter, softened
• 1/2 cup coconut sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 flax egg
• Handful of chocolate chips

 Preheat oven to 350F. Line a square pan with parchment paper and set aside.

In a medium bowl, mix mashed avocado and oil together. When combined, add in flour, cocoa powder, coconut sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Don't overmix. Add water/almond milk gradually (start with 1/2 cup) and mix until smooth. Add more liquid as required. Throw in chocolate chips and fold.

In a separate bowl, cream together vegan butter and coconut sugar. Once softened, add in vanilla and flax egg. Then, add flour, baking powder and salt. Mix until well incorporated. Fold in chocolate chips.

Pour the brownie batter first into the prepared pan. Top with the cookie dough and smooth out using a spatula.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, depending on the texture desired (more gooey or denser). Let cool on a wire rack for at least 20 minutes before slicing.

Enjoy! xx

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."

- Dalai Lama

• Lifestyle vegans - who do it for ethical reasons (i.e. environmental, animal rights, political, etc.). This type of veganism also encompasses solely restricting animal meat in one's diet, but goes as far as an actual lifestyle whereby leather and fur are a no-go. 
• Health-related - who are vegans due to their health, primarily due to chronic disease, desire to lose weight or as a preventative measure; may still wear leather and fur in their every day lives.  

Where am I in this spectrum? A little bit everywhere. In all honesty, there's much more work on my end when it comes to my overall consumption of animal products. If you ask me whether or not I still wear leather and the like, my answer would be yes. I have bought leather products less and less in the last year and I'm challenging myself this year. I have compassion for the animals and it's bright as day in my head, but alas, I need a kick in the butt to fully commit. The last leather product I bought were snow boots and I felt so awful about it that I ended up buying vegan loafers from Matt & Nat. Go figure. This is why I'm torn to call myself "vegan". Food consumption-wise, I'm 100% vegan, and totally in between plant-based and fat vegan. I've never said no to bread or pasta. Just sayin'.

Cookies were my weakness as a child. Especially what I now deem as quite salty yet too sweet and rather artificial cookies: Chips Ahoy. My parents didn't always have those cookies around when we were growing up, but when the pantry was aplenty, I turned into a veritable Cookie Monster. What moderation? There was no stopping at one serving size of two cookies. None!

Boxed cookies and biscuits were the first processed foods that I gave up when I shifted my diet to a plant-based one. Even today, Oreos are apparently vegan, but I can't seem to make myself buy them. The time I really wanted cookies & cream nicecream, I ended up buying this gluten-free, vegan alternative. Not really the same thing. I still think baking your own cookies is the better option because you know what actually goes in the ingredients. Keep this in mind: Just because an item is labelled "vegan" doesn't directly mean it's healthy.

So, are these cookies healthy or not? It depends on your definition of "healthy," obviously. But to me, I don't consider cookies or anything else I bake "junk food" because I control the sugar content and every other ingredient I choose to include. It's all soul food to me at this point. Better the cookies straight from my oven than manufactured in a sad facility in the middle of nowhere. Plus, these cookie recipes will spark your creativity! You can switch up the flavours easily. Let me show you!

You should let me love you! Let me be the one to [eat] you.

Gluten-Free S'mores Cookies
Makes 12-15 cookies

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup Earth Balance vegan butter, softened
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 flax egg (1 tbsp ground flax, 3 tbsp water)
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup gluten-free flour mix (I used Bob Red Mill's)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup Enjoy Life Foods mega chocolate chunks
• Dandies marshmallow

In a small bowl, cream together butter and sugar. When softened, add flax egg and vanilla. Incorporate flour, baking powder and salt.

When mixed, add in chocolate chunks and incorporate again. 

Chill the dough in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Roll a tablespoon of dough and flatten. Top with a slice of marshmallow then roll into a ball, ensuring that the marshmallow is encased within the dough.

Bake for 9-12 minutes. Let cool on the sheet for at least five minutes (until the cookies "set") then transfer to cool completely on a wire rack.

Enjoy! xx

I won't stop at one.

"Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself - what you're wearing, who you're around, what you're doing. Recreate and repeat."

- Warsan Shire

• 1/2 cup gluten-free oat flour
• 1/2 cup gluten-free flour blend
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup vegan butter *
• 1/2 cup brown sugar or 3/4 cup coconut sugar **
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 flax/chia egg (1 tbsp ground flax, 3 tbsp of water)
• Big handful of Enjoy Life Foods Mega Chocolate Chunks
• Almond butter

"Aren't we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they'll tell us that we make sense?"

- Rudy Francisco

• It takes me a long time to make a decision, which of course translate to me being wishy-washy. Depending on my mood/information gathered at a particular moment, my decision can shift to the other side. (It took my friend two years of nagging for me to finally go to her crazy workout class... and even after I said yes, she requested a screenshot of my inscription to the class.) Possible future scenario: My boyfriend is down on one knee for a very long time and me pondering whether the answer is "yes" or "let's think about this some more."
• If I break from my routine, the day would feel chaotic. It's my OCD-ness, I suppose. I like routine, but I also like change -- but under my own terms. I'm trying to be more flexible now and to still have my bearings when things clearly are out of my own hands. I'm working on my "savasana" off the mat. Possible future scenario: Running around like a headless chicken if I miss my cup of morning matcha. 
• Mindless phone use when I'm bored, especially before bed. My brain is used to multi-tasking, which makes me feel efficient, but really can be a hindrance to actual progress. There are other activities out there that are far more relaxing/rewarding than browsing your phone as you battle boredom. I realised that if I want to get more sleep at night, I should leave my phone and laptop off my bed and on my table, where I can't grab them at arm's reach. I can say it has helped me fall asleep much faster instead of being wide awake for almost an hour, looking at random Instagram posts or finding something to watch on Netflix. Possible future scenario: Accidentally liking someone's photo from 84 weeks ago as my eyes succumb to slumber. 
• Panicky phone calls, especially when making appointments. I think the more urgent the phone call, the more anxiety I have making that call. There are probably a few things I'd rather do than make phone calls. Like boot camp. Or walking on hot stones. Or jumping out of a plane. (This is why my friends ask me if they can call me first... I'm weird that way.) But the call must be done and I just have to suck it up. Possible future scenario: Not returning a call to claim some big reward... because anxiety. 
• I am an emotional eater. But, seriously. It depends on the kind of stress, but I do tend to eat my feelings when there's a looming anxiety in my life. As if that fourth piece of avocado brownie would envelope me from my fears. Then, because I was so anxious about eating one too many pieces of cake, I over-exercise. Neither of which is good for anyone, let's be honest. Crossing my fingers, I'm fine with my eating and I rest. Possible future scenario: Finishing off a pan of brownies before an Instagram photo is taken. (Haha!) 

• 1 1/4 cup spelt flour
• 1/2 cup coconut sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 2 tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 2 flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flax seed, 6 tbsp of water)
• 1/2 cup tahini
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 cup sesame seeds

• 1 cup Enjoy Life mega chocolate chunks 
• 2 tbsp coconut oil

• Making the bed in the morning - I used to be terrible at this because whenever I made my bed, it never looked perfect... But now, I actually take this "chore" as a relaxing habit in the morning. It bugs me now when my bed isn't made before I leave for work. 
• One cup of coffee a day - There are still days where I'll have max two cups, but I'm getting much better. One cup in the morning and I drink water/tea/lemon water throughout the rest of the day. As with the gum chewing, I drank coffee out of boredom, like an automatic tick. 
• Flossing twice a day - Professionals have differing opinions regarding the number of times you need to brush and floss your teeth in a day. Though I've always integrated flossing in my dental hygiene routine, either I skipped it in a day for convenience purposes or I rushed through it. One day, something just clicked, why was I being such a lazy bum about this easy activity? I couldn't rationalised that for the life of me and so now, I'm a changed woman. Go figure.
• Laptop & iPhone off the bed - No other explanation needed for this. I need my sleep. And I need better ways to deal with boredom as I try to sleep.

• Putting off tedious chores - It's not out of sheer laziness, but I think it's usually always a case of inconvenience. My brain works funny at times. I think of my to do list at the weirdest hour of the day, which leads to a lot of putting off chores because, heck, do you really see yourself ironing your clothes are 11 pm? (Maybe you do, but I really need to be in bed by then.) Now, with the help of many podcasts and self-betterment books I've recently been reading, I ask myself "Why not now?" Sure I still succumb to the idea of "later I'll have more time for these chores," but at least I do try to be more mindful. 
• Mindless Netflix marathons - Most of the time, I'm not even watching whatever is on. It's like background noise, but then I end up wasting to much time trying to figure out what was actually going on. On the one hand, I'm a natural multi-tasker (it's not always ideal) and on the other hand, since I have a day job and I have a lot of time dedicated to preparing my lunches/working out/other chores, I feel as if I "deserve" some quiet time that apparently involves Netflix... (True story, it's usually just another rewatching of Gilmore Girls/Friends/Sherlock/Grey's Anatomy. Total waste of time...) This time around, I'll channel the time to do something productive or an activity I actually do enjoy. 
• Being too much of a homebody - Look, I love to bake and cook. My kitchen is my sanctuary. I've de-stressed more times in my kitchen than on my yoga mat. That's just how it is. I'm also not the most social person, which translates to my preference of staying in on a Friday night instead of painting the town red with my girlfriends. BUT I do acknowledge the necessity to be out in the world and be with people. And so, I'm trying. 

• 1/2 cup vegan butter, softened
• 1/2 cup coconut sugar
• 2-3 tbsp of unsweetened applesauce
• 3/4 cup gluten-free oat flour
• 1/4 cup gluten-free flour blend 
• 1/4 cup ground cashews *
• 1/4 cup ground pistachios
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/3 cup coarsely ground pistachios
• 1/2 cup dark chocolate, melted

"You'll have to eat oatmeal or you'll dry up. Anybody knows that."

- Kay Thompson

I should perhaps also tell you now that even when I'm inspired by another recipe, I still end up making modifications. It's not because I'm fussy or anything like that, it all just depends on convenience. Do I have the ingredients on hand? Will it be too sweet? Is the consistency how I like it? Is it too taxing? Sometimes, I'm just lazy and I want to take shortcuts. Other times, I don't like certain ingredients so I try to find alternatives. Obviously, it can either be a hit or a miss. But, you see, as with anything else in life, baking is about practice and gaining knowledge. Not any other thing is a good alternative, you know.

• 1 cup walnuts
• 2 cups gluten-free oats, divided
• 3/4 cup gluten-free flour
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp baking soda, sifted
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup maple syrup
• 3.5 tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 2 tbsp almond milk
• 1/3 cup medjool dates, diced
• 1/4 cup chocolate chips (I used EnjoyLife)

"I suppose I could've stayed home and baked cookies and had teas."

- Hillary Clinton

(Pssst, it's extra sweet if you bake it with someone you love. Just saying.)

• 3/4 whole wheat flour
• 3/4 cup gluten-free oats (better if you use rolled oats instead of quick cooking)
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter 
• 1/4 cup almond milk
• 1/4 cup coconut milk *
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup coconut sugar
• 3 tbsp of melted coconut oil **
• 1/2 cup mini chocolate chips

"Number one, I absolutely love making chocolate chip cookies. I mean, it's fun. It's exciting. Beyond the fact I love making them, I love eating them."

- Debbie Fields

• 1/3 cup + 2 tbsp pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie mixture)
• 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted *
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup coconut sugar

• 1.5 cups whole wheat pastry flour **
• 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp bakin soda
• 1.5 tsp cinnamon
• Dash of nutmeg
• Pinch of salt
• Chocolate chips

"So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie."

- James Patterson

• 2 cups gluten-free oats 
• 2 ripe bananas, mashed
• 1 tsp cinnamon 
• Homemade jam (or jam of choice)
• Dark chocolate
• Peanut butter, for drizzling